An IT worker upgrading a network panics when she thinks she won't finish in time. Her heart starts pounding and she begins to sweat.
What behaviors can she use to cultivate emotional self-awareness?
Accept that many emotions are human and hard-wired
Slow down and pay attention to her body and self-talk
Avoid denial and negative self-talk about her emotions
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You come to work feeling grumpy, but you're not sure why. Later, your boss gives you negative feedback and you clench your jaw muscles in anger.
Match each experience to the type of response it is.
- You get angry
Emotion -
- Feeling - You clench your jaw muscles
- Mood - You come to work feeling grumpy, but you're not sure why
A designer completes some mock-ups just as she gets an e-mail from her manager asking her to scrap them, causing her much frustration.
What self-management techniques can she use in this situation?
Stop and do nothing for about ten seconds before replying to her manager's e-mail
Take a couple of sips of water before responding to her manager's e-mail
Breathe in deeply, hold her breath for a while, and then exhale
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You're speaking at a meeting when a manager rudely cuts you off. Your heart starts to pound and you feel your face getting red in anger.
Which reactions show that you're emotionally self-aware?
Aware that your physical reaction is significant, you wait until you calm down and can control the anger in your voice. Then you ask the meeting facilitator if you can continue speaking uninterrupted.
You try to stay "outside" your emotional reaction as best you can and figure out why you are becoming so angry.
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There are many different ways of preventing emotional hijacks and managing your reactions to stressful events.
What are some examples of effective self-management techniques?
After a conflict with a coworker, Michael visualizes a vacation with his family to calm down
After receiving a terse e-mail from a colleague, Brian relaxes each muscle in his body to avoid overreacting
Gail breathes in for three seconds and out for six after a deadline was unexpectedly brought forward by a week
Paula tells herself that the upcoming meeting with a client may be helpful and not a source of dread
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Stan gets a call from his manager. He thinks she's calling to criticize him. He freezes and is afraid to pick up.
Match each reaction with the chain of events stage it corresponds to.
Interpretation-
- Feeling - Stan's body freezes up
- Emotion - Stan becomes afraid of what his boss will say
- Event - Stan gets a phone call from his manager
A manager is accused of unfair treatment in a meeting. Shocked and unable to speak, he berates himself for not handling the situation better.
What could the manager do to cultivate emotional awareness?
Tell himself that his physical reaction is normal and expected and that he shouldn't admonish himself any further
Excuse himself for a moment and, in private, try to calm down and reflect on what he's feeling
Notice his own behaviors and what reactions these may be triggering in others
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You're excited to be presenting at a meeting and your heart is beating fast. But although you've prepared well, you feel vaguely nervous about it.
Match each experience to the type of response it is.
- You feel vaguely nervous about the presentation
Mood -
- Emotion - You're excited to be presenting
- Feeling - Your heart is beating fast
You're a graphic designer and have just found out that the team lead has been modifying your work for many weeks without consulting you.
Which reactions show emotional self-awareness?
You approach the team lead and ask to have a discussion about what you're doing wrong in your design work.
You realize that bottling up your anger about this situation is counterproductive, so at a meeting with the team lead, you try to calmly discuss why exactly he was fearful about approaching you.
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You can use a variety of strategies to help manage your emotions in the workplace.
What are some examples of appropriate self-management strategies?
June asks herself if there's any point in worrying about a project deadline and tries to reduce her anxiety
Alan has a disagreement with a programmer and turns his attention to the goal of delivering client software on time
Tim sits in a chair and relaxes his muscles after a particularly tetchy phone call with a client
Pam takes a number of deep breaths after having to take on the heavy workload of a colleague who has called in sick
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Gwen's boss gives her a project with a tight deadline. She thinks she won't have time, bites her nails, and worries she'll fail.
Match each response with the corresponding stage in the chain reaction.
- Gwen bites her nails
Feeling-
- Interpretation - Gwen thinks she won't have time to complete the project
- Event - Gwen is given a project with a tight deadline
- Emotion - Gwen gets worried that she'll fail
- Stop and take a sip of water
- Use a coin in your pocket as a cue for self-management
- Quickly move to the other side of the projection screen
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