Difficult People: Why They Act That Way and How to Deal with Them

Question:

Match the description of behavior displayed to the appropriate personality type.

Dominant-controlling - In his attempts to control the outcome or satisfy his own needs, Nick can be aggressive, demanding, challenging, and power-hungry  -  Molly can come across as a rude bully who is insensitive to anyone else's feelings or circumstancesExpressive-impulsive - Keisha can appear self-centered, "pushy", reactive, and charged up in her desire to express her ideas or make change happen  -  Taku seems high strung and pushes for whatever it takes, even if it's risky, and he doesn't always take responsibility for the outcomeSkeptical-negative - Tom is a "glass half empty" type, who focuses on what could go wrong  -  Kelly operates with suspicion and promotes a sense of powerlessness and poor morale in the workplaceAnalytical-obsessive - June can come across as nit-picky and a rigid micro-manager, holding fast to her need for perfection  -  In his attention to detail and compliance with the "right" way to do something, Joel can be critical, overly logical, slow, and risk-averse

Question

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Glen's obsession with details is very useful to ensuring quality and accuracy before a new product is released, but his continual focus on making sure things are correct, perfect, and "by the book" can sometimes hold up actions or decisions that need to be made.

What are the motivations behind Glen's analytical-obsessive behavior?

• A fear of being wrong or criticized, pride in being accurate and thorough, and an aversion to argument and conflict

• A resistance to change and tendency toward being inflexible

• Logic, accuracy, and knowing they are following the right instructions or procedures

Question

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Anneka's obsession with details and correct process has resulted in her writing comprehensive and illuminating reports, but her strive for perfection has led to delays in taking actions or making decisions that need to be made.

What are the motivations behind Anneka's analytical-obsessive behavior?

• A fear of being wrong or criticized, pride in being accurate and thorough, and an aversion to argument and conflict

• A resistance to change and tendency toward being inflexible

• Logic, accuracy, and knowing they are following the right instructions or procedures

Question

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Rhonda is a relentlessly downbeat member of your team, who greets every new proposal with skepticism or cynicism.

What are the characteristics associated with Rhonda's skeptical-negative behavior?

• She can manifest as any personality type but is always wrapped in a cloak of negativity, so it is difficult to really "see" what is going on underneath

• She has "quit and stayed" and is critical of every company decision, team activity, or management message

• She brings most people down but her behavior can also be seductive

Question

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Serge believes he is playing a useful "devil's advocate" role within the company but, in reality, he's someone who's always complaining and who chooses to be "the skeptic" instead of being a team player.

What traits are associated with Serge's skeptical-negative behavior?

He blames everyone else for his problems

He can appear analytical, dominant, and expressive, but always with a negative undercurrent

He is persistently critical of any announcement or development within the company

Question

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Carol is head of quality assurance within your company and has been instrumental in maintaining the organization's reputation for high-quality output. However, her methodical and precise approach has often resulted in delays in launching new products. She is now proposing to introduce additional assessment standards into her product reviews, which you believe will only result in an even longer QA cycle. You want to discuss ways to speed up the QA process.

In what ways might Carol respond, based on her motivations?

• "Delayed releases aren't as big a problem as releasing a poor product. The only important thing is that the product is right."

• "I don't really have time for a discussion at the moment. I'll drop by your office when things are less busy."

Question

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Greg produces graphics for the video presentations you prepare for potential clients. He always adopts a detailed and painstaking approach that results in great work, but it takes considerably longer than you would like. Recently you had to delay client meetings, as you were still awaiting Greg's work. Any time you have started to suggest that Greg take on an assistant, he has ducked out of the conversation. You are going to make the case for an assistant once more.

What are the likeliest ways that Greg might respond, based on his motivations?

• Greg might not engage at all, rather than face criticism or admit that his approach causes problems

• He could suggest that it is more important that the work is good, than on time, when attracting a new client

Question

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Latitia is great at sharing her ideas with others and she always delivers great presentations. However, she prefers to look at the big picture rather than focus on the smaller steps and has made some impulsive decisions that have taken projects off course.

What are the motivations behind Latitia's expressive-impulsive behavior?

• She can be self-centered and doesn't give others a chance to speak or contribute

• She lacks an attention to detail

• She likes being recognized for her style and creativity and has a strong need to be accepted

Question

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Scott is a talkative, funny, and energetic member of your team, who is great at getting people excited about a project, but is prone to making mistakes by overlooking an important step or acting before he understands what is really being asked of him.

What are the motivations behind Scott's expressive-impulsive behavior?

• He tends to be self-centered and forgets to listen to others

• He likes being recognized for his style and creativity and has a strong need to be accepted
• He isn't good at getting to grips with details

Question

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Angela can be useful in crises or when tough decisions need to be made, but more often than not her anger at what she perceives as colleagues' lower standards manifests in tetchiness or outright criticism.

What are the likely motivations behind Angela's behavior?

• Having authority or power and getting people to do what she wants

• Fear of losing power and inability to emotionally manage anger and aggression

• Impatience and frustration with people who don't react to her demands with enough urgency

Question

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Ayana is the resident skeptic in your company, for whom the glass is always half empty. You recently introduced a new instant messaging system for the office that connects to workers' smartphones. This is essential as many of your staff either work from home or are regularly traveling for business. However, Ayana has criticized it as eating into people's personal lives and her badmouthing is starting to rub off on other workers.

What can you say to Ayana to help deal with her negative attitude?

• "This new messaging system is here to stay so what can we do to allay your concern that it's going to impinge on people's family time?"

• "People really respond to your judgment so let's flag your concern and explore how it might be factored into the way this system is rolled out."

• "The new system will make your life easier, cutting down on the amount of e-mail or phone calls you have to deal with."

Question

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One of the oldest members of your team, Reuben, is always complaining. The current focus of his negativity is a new directive that requires each employee to engage in three hours of further education or continuing professional development every week.

What can you say to Reuben to address his negative attitude?

• "We have to take on board the new directive about professional development. We can't change this but is there something we can do to make it better?"

• "This directive is either going to enhance your current skills or equip you with new ones."

• "I really thought you'd see the positives in this and that would really help, because people on the team respond to your judgment."

Question

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Your colleague Gary is impatient with people who approach him with questions, is openly critical of others, and is apt to take back control of tasks he originally delegated.

What are the motivations behind Gary's dominant-controlling behavior?

• Impatience and frustration with people who don't respond with urgency to his demands

• Having power and getting others to do what he wants

• An inability to emotionally manage anger and aggression